Getting into your woman's head
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Yes, and this would probably be the issue that would trigger her second or third spanking, the one where she is truly "punished for something done wrong" the first time.
To me, the whole point of your dominance is not to make her act like a pussycat, but to bring you together. She submits by letting down the barriers to intimacy that she has put up. Your sense of annoyance is like a radar that points to your trouble spots. If you feel happy and close to her when she stands up to you, that's not a trouble spot.
Extremely well said... In fact, in our case, she is currently becoming a pussycat on her own and I want to stop her. It is the lioness I am attempting to preserve and restore.
To say it another way, I am giving her some space to be submissive to a degree. I am accepting her submissiveness, mostly becuase she wants to be submissive - although I will admit that I enjoy it as a kind of guilty pleasure. However, my struggle is to set limits on her submissiveness so that I don't lose her to it.
Also, in those areas and ways in which she is submissive, I don't want to allow her to have it both ways. I don't want her to "top from the bottom". She does not get to draw the lines, decide how submissive she will be and move the lines around as she pleases.
Again, this is all in-process. A lot of what I end up doing, and the order in which I do it, will depend on the specific situations that happen to occur that afford me the opportunity to try things.
Thank you, Melanie.
by carlf on 2004 Apr 10 - 19:05 | reply to this comment
Scolding
I am struck by your repeated reference to 'scolding' your wife - to the point that she dissolves in tears. To me this seems entirely wrong. What do you scold her for - and why do you feel that this is appropriate?
There seem to be some issues here that (IMHO) are unlikely to be solved by spanking...
Nina
by a Taken In Hand reader on 2004 Apr 12 - 21:08 | reply to this comment
Re: Scolding
IMHO you're misinterpreting the post. I think you have to read this in context not take one word or sentence and jump to conclusions. It's not scolding like scolding a child, it's scolding in the context of an adult intimate relationship in which the wife wants him to wear the pants. He's obviously anxious to ensure there's consent
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