The Sex Lips Saga

From Mammoth Parakeet, 1 Year ago, written in Plain Text, viewed 121 times.
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  17.  
  18. Me: "Well, I am a tall black guy. What did you expect?"
  19.  
  20. Cornfed: "I thought that rumor was false, but I guess you prove it right."
  21.  
  22. Me: "You've slept with 14 guys, and none of them were black?"
  23.  
  24. Cornfed: "No. I'm not attracted to black guys, but for some reason, I'm very attracted to you."
  25.  
  26. We take pictures. Walk to my place. Pass out.
  27.  
  28. But yeah, like I said. Attraction. It isn't a choice.
  29.  
  30. I'm not even going to try to cover all of the women from tonight, as it is impossible...
  31.  
  32. I walk up to the party. The Fiji Islander. Before they even look at the list...
  33.  
  34. Door Guy: "I don't care if this guy is on the list or not, let him in!"
  35.  
  36. Fedora: "There aren't a lot of girls here yet, but they're coming."
  37.  
  38. Me: "I don't care about the fucking women. Just get me a goddamn beer!"
  39.  
  40. Yes, my rubber ducky floatie is awesome. Before I even arrived, I was stopped by no less than four different women. I go to get beer...
  41.  
  42. Me: "I want two beers; Give me two beers!'
  43.  
  44. Guy: "Only because you have that duck around your waist."
  45.  
  46. A line for the Port-a-potty. Are you fucking serious? I'm not waiting in fucking line. I go on the side of one. I turn around, looking at the girls and guys in line...
  47.  
  48. Me: "They taught me this one in college! My parents blessed me with a dick! Don't you wish you had one so you can do this!?"
  49.  
  50. I have to piss again. I return. Someone has discovered my not-so-secret spot. I pull out my dick, and remark my territory.
  51.  
  52. I run into a girl that I've met before. She starts talking to me...
  53.  
  54. Me: "Yeah, I deleted your number from my phone, because I figured that you weren't worth calling."
  55.  
  56. Yup, you guess it. I piss her off and she walks away.
  57.  
  58. I see three lonely guys...
  59.  

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