The dark side of dating

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  35. Me: "I like your tits."
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  37. Everyone in our group is completely trashed and could give a shit about anything. The band tells everyone to scream, and of course Puerto Rico waits until everyone is done screaming...3...2...1..."OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH
  38. HH!". All eyes are on us.
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  40. The band wants everyone to give a hand to the birthday girls Blonde and Blonder. Puerto Rico waits again...3....2...1..."WHORE AND SLUuuUTT!!!!". God, I love this man.
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  42. I head over to entertain the bored looking married couple, only to be interrupted by some guy who is fascinated that I'm the guy who threw that crazy party with all of the mace and cops. I excuse myself.
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  44. I then decide to demonstrate how easy it is to talk to random women for Tank. I go in, and immediately have the attention of the entire group. One of the girls loves me, and the guys think that I actually give a shit about their beard and piercings. They were nothing more than decoy comments to eventually steal their women away.
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  46. A cock-eyed Asian girl then says something to me. I get ready to reply with one of my cocky asshole statements ("Yeah, I've slept with Asian women before, your vaginas are almost as slanty as your eyes."), but Tank comes in and throws my train of thought off track. I want Cowbell. I'm leaving. And where did this sudden urge for Cracker Jack come from?
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