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Me: "Well, I am a tall black guy. What did you expect?"

Cornfed: "I thought that rumor was false, but I guess you prove it right."

Me: "You've slept with 14 guys, and none of them were black?"

Cornfed: "No. I'm not attracted to black guys, but for some reason, I'm very attracted to you."

We take pictures. Walk to my place. Pass out.

But yeah, like I said. Attraction. It isn't a choice.

I'm not even going to try to cover all of the women from tonight, as it is impossible...

I walk up to the party. The Fiji Islander. Before they even look at the list...

Door Guy: "I don't care if this guy is on the list or not, let him in!"

Fedora: "There aren't a lot of girls here yet, but they're coming."

Me: "I don't care about the fucking women. Just get me a goddamn beer!"

Yes, my rubber ducky floatie is awesome. Before I even arrived, I was stopped by no less than four different women. I go to get beer...

Me: "I want two beers; Give me two beers!'

Guy: "Only because you have that duck around your waist."

A line for the Port-a-potty. Are you fucking serious? I'm not waiting in fucking line. I go on the side of one. I turn around, looking at the girls and guys in line...

Me: "They taught me this one in college! My parents blessed me with a dick! Don't you wish you had one so you can do this!?"

I have to piss again. I return. Someone has discovered my not-so-secret spot. I pull out my dick, and remark my territory.

I run into a girl that I've met before. She starts talking to me...

Me: "Yeah, I deleted your number from my phone, because I figured that you weren't worth calling."

Yup, you guess it. I piss her off and she walks away.

I see three lonely guys...